ROWLING'S THOUGHT PROCESS
by eggplant1
Summary: They say the most important thing any writer needs is a good trash can. This is why.


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ROWLING'S THOUGHT PROCESS

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Ok I can't put it off any more, I'm on the last page of book 7, but how on earth am I going to end this thing. Everybody has their own idea and if I don't do it right my fans will kill me. Well, everybody likes a happy ending, maybe something like this.

And then Voldemort said " Harry I can see you were right, you were right about everything. I can't thank you enough for returning my lost little puppy, Skippy, to me"

Voldemort wiped a single perfect tear from his eye and said

"You've taught me the true meaning of friendship, and the true meaning of Christmas too. I know now I've made some poor decisions in my life. Harry, I'm sorry I tortured you and murdered your parents, I don't think that was a very nice thing to do, I really don't. "

"Ah, forget it you knucklehead" 

said Harry feeling slightly embarrassed and giving Voldemort a friendly punch on the shoulder

"none of us are perfect we all make mistakes"

They put their arms on each other's shoulder and then the feeling of joy in the hearts of both Harry and Voldemort became so large that they could contain it no longer and burst into song: 

"I love you, you love me, we're a happy family..."

And they all lived happily ever after.

THE END

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Wait a minute that won't work. Why oh why did I tell everybody it would end with the word "scar", as if I'm not already under enough pressure I have to put that further constraint on me. Well, no point in worrying about it now, there might have copyright problems with that song anyway. Perhaps I should try a little more realism.

The applause every student and teacher at Hogwarts was giving Harry for his heroic defeat of Voldemore seemed like it would never end. Draco Malfoy gave him a sincere handshake and begged to be forgiven for all the terrible things he said about him. There were tears in the eyes of Snape as he hugged Harry like a brother. Dumbledore beamed at him with pride, put his hand on Harry's shoulder and said 

"We're all very proud of your heroism Harry in defeating the Dark Lord single handed but now that you've graduated there is one more thing you need to get up you lazy stupid brat! Why can't you be more like Dudly, he's such a sweet boy."

"What?" said Harry groggily as he looked around. He was in the Durseley's tiny closet under the stairs.

"You heard me, wake up!" bellowed Uncle Vernon

"You can't be late for your first day at work at the toothpaste factory. I'm tired of being Mr. Nice Guy all the time, you've graduated now and your freeloading days are over, you're going to have to start pulling your weight around here. And no breakfast today, Dudly's on a diet."

Harry got up, he wished it was real, he wished he really was a wizard, but he knew there was nothing special about him except that he was the only one at school who got picked on every day for having such a silly looking scar. 

THE END

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Hmm, I don't know, I think it needs a little something, some might find that a bit, what's the word, unsatisfying. I'll tack on a happy ending.

Harry was working on the assembly line, doing what he always did, putting 41 caps on 41 tubes of toothpaste for every minute of his 8 hour shift, when the idea occurred to him. He may not be a wizard but it's not everyone who can have a dream that detailed. Maybe he should write it all down, maybe he should write a book, maybe he could even sell a copy or two. But on further reflection he concluded that nobody would want to read such nonsense. Besides in 6 or 7 years he hoped to work his way up to 48 caps a minute and then he'd get a 2% raise, even better, when he was 65 the company would give him a solid gold toothpaste cap. With that happy thought Harry decided to concentrate on his lifelong career. But he did wish his fellow workers would stop teasing him about his scar.

THE END 

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They didn't say so, they never criticize me for anything but I don't think my editors liked that ending too much. Maybe that's why one sold all his Scholastic stock and the other poor man can't seem to stop throwing up. I'll try again. 

Exactly one year after that wonderful and horrible day Ginny could hear the sounds of celebration in the distance. It's Potter day, a time for wizards all over the world to honor the memory of a hero. She looked down into the brilliant green eyes of her infant son cradled in her arms and kissed Harry Potter on the forehead. She saw no scar.

THE END

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Better, but still not quite right. Hmm


End file.
